There comes a time in every man’s life, where it is time to stop and take stock of all you have done and achieved, for most men it is a single event that comes around forty, and it is an important moment as you look back at all you have done, and with a little hope the picture is pretty good.

I have done it a few times in my life; I often think that was due to the fact that I had to change direction often, as deep inside me there were important changes going on brought on by changes in my life. My first break up from a long term relationship, losing my job after 12 years of hard grafting loyalty, fighting a council to save my business, all of them exacted huge changes that made me stand up and take notice, and forced me to drastically alter the way I lived. Within the past two years two events again have made me sit and focus on what is important in this life we live, and I feel it poses as many questions as it answers.

I think most of us take Nature for granted, and I think within that lies a note of caution, because Nature holds all of us within a delicate balance, something brought home to me in the hardest possible lesson recently as I watched my first daughter suffer, it was a reminder that had been served to me a year earlier as I watched my father struggle when he nursed my Step Mother back to health, and from those hard and painful times, I have started to understand the true value of the gift we all call life.

A recent survey I read (Which I cannot find the link to. If I do I will add it later) listed the five biggest regrets men had on their deathbeds, and one that struck me whilst reading, was the high proportion of men who wished they had not worked so much. I think it resonated so deeply within me, because in the childhood of my first daughter I worked at large Garden Centre, and the job which I loved took me out of the home at weekends and holidays, and also involved almost dawn till dusk working hours, as a result I missed all of those important moments watching her grow up. The sad thing was it wasn’t even worth it, I worked so hard and was without doubt one of the most loyal members of staff, but when it came down to the line, the owner let me go simply to save money in a budget cut, where he kept on the cheaper members of staff. OK in the long run he lost out, after all I was the one who brought in the sales, and to a large degree could justify my long working hours with my wage, but it hit me hard at the time, and it knocked me flat on my face for a long time after. I vowed then I would not work for another employer again, and began to set up my own business.

I learned an important lesson, one which I was lucky to get earlier in life than most other men, and when by what I see as a miracle, I became a father again later in life, I knew I was not going to pass up the chance of a lifetime to enjoy the life of my new child. Today I write from home, the money as a writer is not great, I do not live as well in comparison to my days working in a large Garden Centre, but I am surrounded by my family, and even though it is a struggle at times and I do worry about what happens if my books do not sell, I still think by comparison I am a lot happier than I was back then. It does pose the quality versus quantity argument as to which approach is best, and yet being by my wife’s side and enjoying the freedom to take my children out and watch them as they excitedly investigate the world around them, for me is something of extra special value, as I now want my time here with all of them to count.

As most of you know I love Celt culture and tradition, and one thing in particular that I am reminded of at the moment, is how they believed you should honour your ancestors and all who have been before you. To the Celts, it is the sum total of each member down your family line that has brought you to this point in your life, it is a profound thought when you sit and think of the lives of your family dating back through each generation, In a way I think it is a very important point that most of us have forgotten.  In heirs to the Kingdom I used the phrase, when I leave this realm, I will sit in a place of honour at my father’s table, it is a reference to this the oldest of Celt traditions and it is something that is a deep part of my own personal beliefs. Again it poses the question of when I finally leave this realm, what will make me worthy enough to earn my place at the table?

I know a few people who have worked hard all their lives, and in many cases they have built themselves up quite a business or small empire to show the world the worthiness of their achievements, and you cannot react in any other way than to admire the courage and determination they have shown in achieving such a feat. But at the moment I do question whether or not it was worth the sacrifice and effort, because I can only ask what will happen when they are finally gone? The cost they pay to achieve such a thing is very high indeed, and in most cases behind every successful business man, is a divorce or unfulfilled wife, and children who really do not know who their father truly is a person, it feels like a heavy price to pay for success to me.

History teaches us that all empires fall, so is it even worth building one in the first place? That at the moment is a question I have no answer to. Something that I think about and is important to me is the example set by my father. His father died when he was a small boy, and I often think of how my father worked his way up in his job to finally reach the top position, it was not an easy journey as he began at the bottom. Along the way he earned a great deal of respect, due mainly to his even handedness of those he managed. He spent a great deal of his free time in the Mountain Rescue, again playing his role as a team member saving the lives of a great many people. Is his father sat in another realm watching with pride? I would say a very resounding yes; my father has indeed earned his place at the table, because even when he is no longer with us, as a result of his life, other lives have been touched and changed by the way he lived.  As you can probably imagine I am very proud to be his son, and I can only hope that one day I will measure up to him, and all that have been before me, and take my own seat at the table that is the legacy of my family line.

I have lived quite an unconventional life, I am a natural rebel and I have lived a life without too much planning, taking in the moment and trying to make the best of it. I have always felt we place far too much emphasis on money and possessions and how everything appears to others, we are indoctrinated from when we are small children as to what is and is not acceptable, and yet those who teach us these so called important rules for life, disregard them completely and are usually the ones who obsess over money and gather great possessions, whilst breaking every rule ever set for what is deemed to be acceptable moral or otherwise. It is their way to control us, and I think today we are seeing that clearer and clearer as we watch corrupt governments and religious leaders lie and cheat to gain power and wealth for themselves, and the banks and business grow ever larger under the rule of their fat cat owners, as inequality and injustice are heaped upon the rest of us, so why should we live our lives at their benefit? The world has become obsessed with celebrity culture and the material gains they flaunt, I mean lets be honest why does the sex life of a celebrity really matter? Who cares if they have had an affair or slept with ten people in one night, I mean really does it matter that much in the scheme of things that they spent ten million on a marriage that lasted only fifty days? Focus on your own sex life and enjoying it, and make yours the one marriage that no matter what trials you have, it works.

Is it not more important to live as feels right for us?

Shouldn’t we all live in a way that honours those who came before us? I think it is time for change, and it should start by all of us taking stock of who we are, and what is more important to us. For myself, it is important that I leave something behind that my children and wife will never forget, it is also important that I earn the respect of my father and earn my place at his table. I am lucky I am a published author, I will leave something behind, my words will remain on file in the central library of the UK forever and so future generations of mine will be able to read the words I have written and share in my world, for my books do contain my life and my feeling and thoughts, even if they are written in a way that is encrypted to the rest of the world. More importantly I want my children to hold the respect for me that I hold for my father, that is the legacy I want to leave them, I want the memories to be of happiness as they remember how I introduced them to Nature and showed them how to use the tools we have to create and build things, and also to remember the lessons I learned in life to aid them and prevent them making the same endless mistakes I have. I want them to live free of thought, and not shackled by the rules of the institutions that have crept into this world and dominated opinion for generation after generation.

The one thing I am very proud of is my thirty year role around plants. I have sown millions of seeds, taking hundreds of thousands of cuttings, and travelled this country selling them on cheaply to people who have taken them home to plant and grow on with care. As I look out of my window across the woodland and wild fields, I can see countless trees that have been planted by me, some of which are now growing into early maturity. I have collected and scatted millions of wild flower seeds across this land, and helped revive some flagging varieties by reintroducing them back into the wild, and I have fought and campaigned to save trees all around the world, so when my moment comes to walk out of this world into another one, I will know I am leaving it a little more beautiful than when I came into it. That is one thing I am immensely proud of, and even though no one will ever truly know the extent of my life with plants, I have left something behind me which with hope will remain as a marker to my life for many years to come.

The one thing I have learned more than anything else in the past 18 months is that life is precious, and it should be lived to its fullest. It is so unimportant what others think, being true to yourself and living every moment is far more important, because we really do not know when Nature will slip and the balance will change. The media is filled with endless opinion on what is and is not acceptable, but the daft thing is, it is only at that moment of time that it appears relevant, all the shocks and scandals we see blow over in days as the news rolls ever on, and it is the same of life, none of it really matters, but your family and its past heritage will, so honour it and those around you, by being true to yourself. It does not matter how you live, what is really important is that you live it well.

The Celts believed: Respect all of nature and every living soul. Live your life to its fullest, and hurt none. It is a ten thousand year old piece of advice, and to be honest, it is still the best piece of advice I have ever read.