I remember when I was just 7 years old and at school, and I was asked what did I want to be when I grew up?

It makes me smile now, but at the time I got into a huge amount of trouble, because for me it was not a great time being a child. My parents had separated when I was just four years old, and even though I was not aware of it, I was not going to see my father again until I was 35 years old, and at that scared and lonely age of seven, I missed him and wanted desperately to see him again. I hated my childhood years, I was in a school where my grandfather had been one of the most successful headmasters of his time, and was still remembered by all the staff, which had been trained by him. To be honest I never had a chance of living up to the standards expected from the staff of Mr Renwick’s grandson. The headmistress hated me, as she was reminded daily of her shortcomings compared to my grandfather, and went out of her way to make an example of me, my mum was also a dinner lady at the school and my every move was reported to her, so I took the added humiliation of being reprimanded very publicly by her. That resulted in making me an easy target for every bully in the school, and as I withdrew into myself, I was different, and awkward, and that made it hard for me to even be accepted by my brothers at home, life felt hard and was a miserable existence, I was a loner lost in world I felt I did not belong in, so when I was asked what I wanted to be, I replied very honestly, “An orphan.”

I can laugh now, but at the time it was like trying to live through a nuclear holocaust, I guess I was too honest and lacked great tact, something which at times these days I can also be a little guilty of. It wasn’t easy growing into a man without a father’s guidance, yet two things saved my life and restored my sole to happiness and inner calm as I grew older, they became the friends and faithful companions that would take me through the rest of my life, and in time help me come to terms with who I was, and who I was capable of being. I think at the age of 50, which I have arrived at this month (February 2014) I can say with clarity, they saved my life, and those two faithful companions have been my books and my music.

Words hold a great place in my heart, I have learned to live by them, as they have been the things I have held onto in the hard times, and my life has had its times of great sorrow and great happiness. My book case and my very precious vinyl record and CD collection are in many ways like a bar code of the days of my life, each coloured stripe marks a particular moment in time that is relevant to what I was doing and who I am today because of it. Every book on my shelf has the advice I needed to get me through a rough patch, and the lyrics of my vast rock collection guided me through my teenage years and have inspired me to grow and learn more and more about life and living through all of my days.

At the ripe old age of 50, I think through my reading and the endless years of listening to music I have finally learned to be at ease with the world and more importantly myself. I made it out alive, thanks to the hopes and dreams of every author and every crazy love sick or troubled musician, who opened their heart and wrote it down on a lyric sheet. To them I have much indeed to thank them for, I feel sorry for the youth of today, they have switched off from the world of books and music opting for the user friendly computer games console, which to be honest teach you little but how to kill your way out of zombie apocalypse or drive over enough police officers and pedestrians to get away from your crime scot free. Modern day consumer driven business I feel has ripped them off and left them high and dry, which if they read a book or too they would understand. I was enrolled into catering college at 16 (not my choice) and even though it was not a place I wanted to be, at that time I did not actually know what I did want to be, so I read all the books I could, and then took what I learned and turned it into lyrics to match all my favourite songs to revise by. It worked out fine as I silently hummed my way through my exams and walked out of college with all distinctions. I smile every now and again as I hear a track playing and remember a recipe or a particular part of my food science exam.

It was at that point rebellion kicked in big time, and off the rails I went, I was to say the least the last of a wild bunch of hippie radicals dragging out their existence through the 1970’s and I dumped catering and went into horticulture to be at one with the universe, and spend my life surrounded by plants. Again I had my books and music, my botany library is indeed a vast one and I very quickly started to shine as I had the ability to learn and apply massive amounts of information setting me well above most of my colleagues as a fountain of horticultural knowledge. I loved my working life in Horticulture, I learned the true meaning of satisfaction in a job, I never made masses of money, but I lived well and taught myself well beyond the limits of the examining board ending up as a public demonstrator, horticultural teacher, container gardening specialist, houseplant expert, tree expert and last but not least bonsai teacher, instructor and designer, not bad at all I think, and all thanks to my books and my love of music which played endlessly encouraging me in the background.

Words on paper and set to rhythm have dominated my life, and behind the scenes they gave me something greater and deeper to ease my soul and help me make the changes within myself that helped me find the courage to change into what I hope is a better and more at ease person. They helped me to write and express what at the tender age of seven I was unable to. Writing allows me to open up and lay things out in black and white so I can read it back and understand the lessons of life and learn from them, writing has been a great therapy that has aided my growth as a human being. I still smile at the faces of those who I meet and they discover that I have walked away from horticulture and become a full time writer; it was something no one either saw or expected until I did a complete U turn and published a book confounding all my friends. These past seven years sat writing have been the best years of my life, for I believe my precious books have finally brought me round in a complete circle to meet the person I was always meant to be, and he is sat here at this very moment, wearing headphones and playing a wonderful version of Bachman-Turner-Overdrives, You aint seen nothing yet, writing this article.

The important thing here I feel is, that reading and listening to some incredibly well written music lyrics taught me, how to forgive, how to communicate and hold down a good job. I learned how to change and become more social, and the true meaning of courage. I have learned respect for all, and acceptance of the fact that everyone sees the world differently, and I will not always agree with them. It has taught me no one wins a war, as everyone suffers, and how everyone deserves a chance to show they have the ability to learn and progress. I also learned how to build a shelter and grow food; I have learned that the wilderness is like an open store filled with the needs of everyone. I too can kill zombies and fight off vampires, and I know all the best places to bury treasure. Most importantly I learned how to live and be happy and to know when to change things to make me happier, and spot the girl of my dreams, and how to hold on to her as I have and always will.

There is a great deal to learn from my life, I was a kid with no idea of what I wanted to do, I was unhappy and afraid of pretty much everything. I was riddled with self-doubt stumbling on from childhood into an adult life devoid of any direction, but I was never alone, I had the power of those who have been before me laying out their ideas of life in verse or fantasy story to guide me slowly forward. Books hold such a wealth of great advice and truths, as do the living experience of those who can be creative and translate that into song, its like having a vast bank of advisors beside you to guide you, and they can help you make up your mind about something, or bring a smile to your face and even make you weep with delight. The thing is they are there silently sat on a shelf waiting to be requested by you for something to take you through that moment of difficulty or give you a well-earned break from the reality of life. The ability to write has to be the greatest achievement of the human race, and we here in the UK we are in serious danger of throwing it all away.

In this country (UK) today we have less than 1000 indie bookshops, and we are slowly destroying our libraries and closing them down, which from the point of view of myself, a lifelong user, I think it is a massive and dangerous mistake for this country. The recording industry is a good example of what is in store for the book industry if we the people to do not take heed and take back what should be there for everyone who is need of it. The government is slashing budgets left right and centre and raising taxes, and soon like the music shops, all the bookshops will close and there will no longer be local libraries. The music industry once offered us a huge choice as did the book industry, but larger commercial enterprises are taking over and refining our selection, and great works are fading away never to be found again, those indie stores that kept us all in touch with all that was available are becoming less and less each year, and even with the libraries that remain open, thier range and selection have lessened, taking vital knowledge away from the good of all of us, and our future generations.

It is time all of us made it clear, we do not wish to see another generation of our young raised without the wisdom of those who have gone before us at hand. We need to use local bookshops and oppose the closure of libraries. We should see it as our duty to encourage everyone we meet to read and use what they learn in life and in leisure. So many complain about falling standards of education in schools, well are you surprised when for over ten years books have not been actively encouraged as a full and important part of a person’s life. If we lose more local bookshops and libraries, and allow the large corporate companies to rule and dictate the terms of our reading, how we will we ever recover as a nation in the future, if those that follow us, are not capable of reading a good well written and educational story? The music industry has lost any hope of keeping independent musicians thriving, the industry has been destroyed and rebuilt as a corporate money maker, and look at the results, it gave us Justin Bieber to inspire our children. It’s a scary thought indeed, and more fitting for a horror story, let’s not let it happen to our beloved book industry and libraries.

I was told at 16 by my careers officer when I wanted to enter into Journalism, “You don’t have what it takes try something else.” My library, bookstore, and music told me different, and today after years of attempts I am a published author, so let’s start now and protect and preserve what we have, and keep the knowledge and life experiences of every creative force with a pen available for future generations.