The Parting of Sapphire and Keith.

Handfasting or Marriage

I have had a few comments from readers on the breakup between Sapphire and Keith. Quite a few of you have expressed some sadness at their parting of the ways. They met in book two, and it appeared that they were destined to be together forever, especially when you look to book four, and Sapphire’s ordeal at the hands of Brother Argus, and how distraught she became about her prospects for future chances of children with Keith.

I try in all that I write to give an honest representation of life, and I think the story of Sapphire and Keith serves as a good reflection of our modern world today, and there is a line I have used many times as I have talked to someone suffering a broken heart, which simply put is, “Some people are meant to belong in our hearts, but not always in our lives.”

I have seen a great deal in my half century on this earth, and since I was a young boy, a great deal has changed in regard to relationships and marriage. I think with age I have grown a little cynical about the future of what is now seen as out of date values, and I have watched the game change into something so different from the family roles I learned as a young boy. I do try very hard to present a modern take on my woodland world, and I spend a great deal of time thinking about how the rules of society would change after a life changing event such as the Red Death, and one thing I do know, is that if you put people into a survival situation, pretty much most of their view points on life will shift, especially in regard to long term goals.

Modern culture is unrecognisable to that of my youth, and as a people watcher who is fascinated with the human condition, I have observed many of the younger couples that have grown around me. Marriages are changing, so are relationships, and in today’s world, sadly a marriage is something no longer measured as for life. The young embrace marriage and relationships as a short term phase, most marriages today encounter cheating and infidelity much sooner than say twenty years ago, it appears that forever has a life span of only ten years in the modern world, and I think about this a great deal.

Pagan ritual of marriage

The fact is, modern society sees relationships so much more differently than I did in my twenties, they have adopted a more  disposable lifestyle, which I think creates an attitude and a live in the now approach. To a degree I understand this, as I grew up opposed to marriage due mainly to my own observations of those around me, and I chose to live my own life in search of liberty and self-discovery. It was only in my later years that I even considered marriage, and so I feel that maybe the youth of today are a little more wiser to life, and want to enjoy being single for far longer than many of my peers did before settling down. When I was younger I was taught marriage is for life, you pick one person and then tough it out no matter what the circumstances, today traditional marriage is just one of many options, that include open lifestyles of varying degrees, and I have observed these in action, and considered it and realised that a marriage in the modern world, is whatever that couple wants it to be, and I actually can see some sense to this.

I have observed couples, who break up, and I have had the chance to talk to quite a few during their times of separation, and many have regrets, and equally as many do not want to let go. It is an interesting phenomenon, and something I wanted to reflect in the books. I have known females, who even though their partner treated them terribly, and left them for other women, they refused to let go, and have endured a long period of suffering alone as a result. I still to this day do not understand why anyone would want to be around someone who treated them so badly, but the facts are, they fought for all they were worth to try and win the man back, and even though I disagreed with them, I also admired them for such massive belief in the power of love to win over.

Others I know have had multiple affairs, and it has weighed heavily on them, and yet as unhappy as they were living in what they perceived as misery, they refused to leave their partners, as they did in a strange way actually love and care about them, and had no intention of hurting them. It is a strange thing to observe, as they worked so hard to save their marriage, only to end repeating their infidelity. I feel that today marriage and relationships are more flexible and easy to discard in the minds of a generation who swipe left or right, and can hook up instantly using the internet or a phone app. I also have had to ask myself, that if your life was plunged into the danger of an apocalyptic event, would that make people more likely to couple up for relationship security, and then in time, as the situation improved, would they be more likely or less likely to separate?

The way I see it, is that with the chance to start completely from scratch, would those with less than a satisfactory relationships separate for a complete change and a better future, or would that bond be strengthened, and therefore remove the all the sources of unhappiness with the struggle to survive? I talked to a lot of people about this and did a lot of reading, and I came to the decision that most bonds would probably be boosted. It is clear that during war time Europe of the 1930’s and 40’s with the chances of survival lower than say during peacetime, more people rushed into marriage, but again in many cases, military personal stationed  very far from home, sort companionship with partners who were not their legal spouses.

I think the higher the risk of death, the more willing some people were to risk everything and move away from the norms of society. With this in mind I turned to Sapphire and her situation.  Firstly Sapphire has had to endure 30yrs alone and isolated (Book 7), so in this scenario she grows use to being without Keith and learns to be dependent on just herself. Sapphire’s other important factor is that once she has used the Bridge of Sequana, she begins to understand that as her powers grow, she will attract the attention of the Dark One. One factor gives her separation and the other threatens death, both ultimately risk Keith’s life, and could end up with him alone if she dies. It is not a simple situation.

Celtic handfasting ribbon knot.

The fact is nothing in a relationship is simple, everything is a negotiation, as we see with Robbie and Runestone as they face their roles in life, and deal with the their commitment to each other and the family they are raising. I think in today’s modern world, they do set a good example to those who really are committed and want to live with the one they have chosen. I have always believed that every marriage is unique, and should not be a formula fixed by society. It is a negotiation lived by just two people, and it is up to them to define their boundaries and live as they chose without comment from the rest of the world. In the background of the books we can see this in all the varied forms of marriage and relationships the characters have, and all of them are very different. I can certainly say that in my own marriage, everything is openly discussed, and then we chose what our next step will be, it works for us, even though at times others do not understand it, but we are also aware it is not going to be the same experience for everyone else, and we try not to comment or judge others because of that.

I have looked at people and how they live together, and it has been clear to me that they are not destined to find their way through whatever crisis they face with each other, and it is because of those cases in real life, I think that I wrote Opal’s part in this as the one to advise Sapphire and maybe shows the greatest wisdom. When Sapphire confesses how she feels about Keith and her future, it is Opal who states it is unfair to continue, as it is not just her life; she must also consider Keith’s. Opal advises the break up after Sapphire explains she wishes to find her own path alone, and I think this shows great wisdom, as even though they are both aware of how much this will hurt Keith, it is in the long run the best thing for him. Given time, Keith will heal and start a new relationship, and through that he will discover the joys of life again. The sudden break up will mean that whilst he is still young, he will have the chance to find something of value that will last much longer, because if Sapphire does not have the courage, and drags it out, it is Keith that will ultimately suffer the worst, and eventually have a shorter life time with a new love.

Many agree with Opal, and some who have spoken to me do not, ultimately I am always going to side with Opal, after all the women is over a thousand years old, and has seen far more in life than I have. But I do think that whilst immensely difficult, Sapphire ultimately did the right thing to end it. Her life is about to change forever, as she becomes the centre of a circle that will grow to guide many lines of lives, and she will enter places in her life Keith will not be allowed to go to.

(Spoiler alert) Sapphire is half human and half Fae, and up until now she has lived a very human existence, her coming years will see her face and embrace her Fae side, as she will be ever drawn in that direction, and whilst the Fae of Earth embrace many freedoms of gender and relationships, Keith will not be allowed to be a part of certain aspects of Fae life. It is a very important factor in her decision, and why the book contains the heart breaking scene where Sapphire visits Keith for one last farewell.

This is not a situation where anyone wins, and for Sapphire I think it is as painful as it is for Keith, but you cannot rule out that she has lived 30 years alone, only to be returned back to the point in time where Robbie confronted the Dark One on Citadel Mount. Having felt the freedom the isolation has given her to learn her craft, she is now placed back into Keith’s arms, and within her so much has changed. Yes she still loves him and probably always will, but she has to be realistic and face the truth of life. The truth is she has learned to live without him, and has come to the realisation that isolation is her protection and her greatest strength. I admit it would be no problem to pick up where she left off again with Keith.

As a writer, it would have made little impact on the books and the story, but that is not how I work, as I want the characters to appear as real as me and you, and I spent a long time thinking about her situation. It made complete sense at the end of the process to have Sapphire admit the truth, there has been a little part of her caught in her teenage dreams and fantasies born out of her own isolation growing up, and as she matured, she had to face the facts that her position could no longer tolerate any form of deceit. Not only towards others, but more importantly towards herself.  Sapphire has to a degree been fooling herself that she can live a mortal life, but the fact remains that she is half Fae, and sooner or later she would have to leave Loxley, and so with that in mind, she had to break it off with Keith, for her journey now is into the unknown world of the mystics, a place no fully mortal person can travel.

I think in today’s world the outcome would be exactly the same. It is said that if you truly love someone, you have to love them enough to let them go, and I believe in that deeply, as I feel that a relationship is two individual people sharing a life experience together, and it is with that in mind I wrote the passages in book seven. It is my hope this series will have a true to life feeling, even though it is heavily wrapped in fantasy, and I hope you will take that into consideration.

The final book in this series of HTTK will illuminate many aspects of the realms and worlds and the people within them, and as all the strings get pulled together to draw this adventure to a close, I hope it will become a little clearer for the readership, and answer many more questions. I am writing what is the most complex book  at the moment in an attempt to finish the book as quickly as I can, and so hopefully it will not be much longer before you all have a copy in your hands, and can complete this journey with me. Until then I thank you for all your correspondence, and look forward to presenting the final instalment at some future point.